Quote by Daniel Tosh Download Open image ““Face down, ass up, that's the way we both got stuck”” — Daniel Tosh ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.1 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Now I just have to decide how you’re going to get me off first. Hands, mouth, tits, pussy, or ass” — Meghan March Copy Share Image
“You know where your head and your ass are? Well they're about to become well acquainted with each other” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“You are stuck with me till the world falls to pieces, and if we’re not still standing even then we’ll still find a way… — Ottilie Weber Copy Share Image
“If we’re being honest, then, yeah, it’s going to suck donkey ass. But we’ll get to the other side, and we’ll be together.” — Eli Easton Copy Share Image
“We’re in this shit together, and we’re going to get out together. No matter what.” — Krista Ritchie Copy Share Image
“I walked in front of him, stopped, bent over, pulled down my pants, and said, “Did I just catch you looking at my ass?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Throwing a McDouble in the air at a fat camp and shouting, LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN! — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Here's what I tell people now when they come to my shows: 'First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
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