« All Them Quotes · Stephen Colbert's Page
Them Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
- We all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement his brilliant plan…
- Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
- Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?
- And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me…
- If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
- Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed…
- Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable.…
- NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
- When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.
- So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists—they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a…
- I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are…
- Divorce is marital welfare.It’s just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn’t do enough research before they got married.
- I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this…
More Them Quotes
- Poets are the only people to whom love is not only a crucial, but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake… — Hannah Arendt
- Whenever u get hurt from those people whom u love most don't blame them, fault is not their its your fault that… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we think of… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms. — Aristotle
- Feelings are the one of the most important cause behind the weakness or strength of a person. Be strong utilise them as… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- In a democracy the poor will have more power than the rich, because there are more of them, and the will of… — Aristotle
- There live not three good men unhanged in England; and one of them is fat and grows old. — William Shakespeare