Sure Beat Quotes by Emo Philips

More Quotes by Emo Philips

Emo Philips has 82 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I was walking down the street. something caught my eye, and dragged it fifteen feet.
• I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?
• So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
• Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!
• I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
• People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.
• My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
• England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.

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