Stop Aging Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

More Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield has 185 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
• What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
• I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
• Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in…
• My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
• I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest…
• I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
• I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."
• I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with…
• My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits…
• I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
• You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.

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