« All My Wife Quotes · Milton Berle's Page
My Wife Quotes by Milton Berle
- All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
- I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
- My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.
- My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the…
- I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.
- I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
- I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
- I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
- My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums.…
- My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
- My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.
- One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?
More My Wife Quotes
- In everyday life, my wife is the most wonderful. We're in love with each other beyond belief. — Christian Bale
- I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three… — Don Adams
- I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we… — Don Adams
- My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. — John Barrymore
- My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. — John Barrymore
- My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to… — Jack Benny
- My wife was delighted with the home I had given her amid the prairies of the far west. — Buffalo Bill
- I felt rich when I was 20 years old and my wife was paying my bills. Just being in a band, I've… — Bono
- U2 was involved in Live Aid, and I ended up going to Ethiopia and working there for some time with my wife,… — Bono
- I think any man who lets a woman pick what he should wear... I mean, you gotta draw the line somewhere as… — Tom Brady
- I'm constantly falling deeper in love with my wife. — Jeff Bridges
- My wife holds the kite strings that let me go 'weeeeeee', then she reels me back in. — Jeff Bridges