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Mother In Law Quotes by Les Dawson
- My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.
- I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
- My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
- My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.
- I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
- My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
- I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.
- The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.
- I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'
- The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother,…
- My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.
- I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
- The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.
More Mother In Law Quotes
- My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. — John Barrymore
- Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. — Josh Billings
- I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. We're both Leos, we understand each other. — Tori Amos
- I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her. — Ken Dodd
- We really have no definition of mother in our law books. Mother was believed to have been so basic that no definition… — Unknown Author
- As one whose husband and mother-in-law have died the victims of murder and assassination, I stand firmly and unequivocally opposed to the… — Coretta Scott King
- The perfect family doesn't exist, nor is there a perfect husband or a perfect wife, and let's not talk about the perfect… — Pope Francis
- I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image. — Bernard Manning
- Is anyone saying same-sex couples can't love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even… — Rick Santorum
- Pakistan is the sort of place every man should send his mother-in-law, for a month, with all expenses paid. — Ian Botham
- Of all the peoples whom I have studied, from city dwellers to cliff dwellers, I always find that at least 50 percent… — Margaret Mead
- What can you say about a man, who on Mother's Day sends flowers to his mother-in-law, with a note thanking her for… — Nancy Reagan