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Jackass Quotes by Bill Engvall
1 Jackass quote by Bill Engvall
More Quotes by Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall has 26 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome…
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There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing someone for being…
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I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit…
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I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? They're from Italy…
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He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot."…
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I've come up with the three things you never want to hear at your kid's parent/teacher conference. Number one: 'You're only responsible…
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Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.
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I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it…
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So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who play golf,…
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Hat's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already…
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This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says 'you like baseball?' I said, 'Oh, man, I love baseball.'…
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I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.
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More Jackass Quotes
Popular Jackass quotes from across the collection:
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Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
— Mark Twain
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According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can'…
— Conan O'Brien
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Jackass: The Movie is great. I think it's in the tradition of physical comedy, which I'm really interested in. Its relationship to…
— Matthew Barney
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When people say that animal rescuers are crazy, what they really mean is that animal rescuers share a number of fundamental beliefs…
— Steven Kotler
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On an otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American Dream. I was able to throw my incompetent…
— Larry Correia
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Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to…
— Greg Gutfeld
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Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.
— H. L. Mencken
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The look of success, when it is worn a certain way, would infuriate a jackass.
— Albert Camus
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No' is golden. 'No' is the kind of power the good witch wields. It's the way whole, healthy, emotionally evolved people manage…
— Cheryl Strayed
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My proudest moment was when I was in high school, some jackass tried to give me a wedgy. I came prepared, I…
— Jared Leto
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it…
— Mark Twain
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Did you ever know that you're a jackass?
— Chris Jericho
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