"I might have tried bungee jumping, until I……" — Bill Engvall
"I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit the ground. Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. 'Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up...' WHAM! And what do you say, if you're the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? 'All right dude, you're up.'"
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Bill Engvall
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23 Quotes by Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall has 23 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects…
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There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing someone…
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I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we…
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I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? They're…
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He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a…
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I've come up with the three things you never want to hear at your kid's parent/teacher conference. Number one: 'You're…
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Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a…
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So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who…
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Hat's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but…
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This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says 'you like baseball?' I said, 'Oh, man, I…
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I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.
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Go 'it wasn't my fault, it was Captain Morgan!' And my wife goes 'Oh, like when Jose Cuervo made you…
See all 23 quotes by Bill Engvall »
More All Quotes
This quote is filed under All Quotes,
one of 128,558 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from which changes of mind might naturally…
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No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our…
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The ultimate end of human acts is eudaimonia, happiness in the sense of living well, which all men desire; all…
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The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes…
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Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of…
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We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and…
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I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is…
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We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace.
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Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life.
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A friend to all is a friend to none.
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