Intelligence Tests Quotes by George Carlin

More Quotes by George Carlin

George Carlin has 565 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to…
• A pear is a failed apple.
• Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
• The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people…
• Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
• If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and…

See all 565 quotes by George Carlin »