Humour Quotes

554 quotes by 435 authors

That which has not a real excellency and value in it self, entertains no longer than the giddy Humour which recommended it to us holds. — Mary Astell
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make… — Drew Barrymore
If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of… — Kate Beckinsale
Among all kinds of Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none… — Joseph Addison
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig,… — Ambrose Bierce
I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they… — Jo Brand
The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a… — Bill Bryson
Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill. — Julie Burchill
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. — Samuel Butler
My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I… — Steve Carell
I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss that. — Nick Cave
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. — Fred Allen
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. — Winston Churchill
I failed to make the chess team because of my height. — Woody Allen
My parents' divorce left me with a lot of sadness and pain and acting, and especially humour, was my way of dealing with all that. — Jennifer Aniston
I suggest taking the high road and have a little sence of humour and let things roll off your back. I think that's very important. — Sally Ride
If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it — Bill Cosby
If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas — John Cleese
Through humour, we see in what seems rational, the irrational; in what seems important, the unimportant — Charlie Chaplin

Who Wrote These Humour Quotes

435 authors contributed a total of 554 Humour Quotes, led by these top contributors: