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Heading Quotes by Jack Handey
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Jack Handey has 402 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you…
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People feel that the EU is heading in a direction that they never signed up to. They resent the interference in our…
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Somewhere along the way, New York became all about money. Or rather, it was always about money, but it wasn't all about…
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That's the way I remember them, heading for an exit.
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I'm not really into gourmet food; I'm the kind of guy who just stops by a place that looks good rather than…
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For my senior prom, my father finally said I could go - as long as I was home by 9 P.M.! That…
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Certainly I see the scientific view of the world as incompatible with religion, but that is not what is interesting about it.…
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Go for the moon. If you don't get it, you'll still be heading for a star.
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When autumn shadows throw their patterns across the land, they are not the images of fragile, dying leaves, not the bared arms…
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