Guy Quotes

8437 quotes by 4261 authors

The big, huge meteor headed toward the Earth. Could nothing stop it? Maybe Bob could. He was suddenly on top of the meteor-through some kind… — Jack Handey
Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked… — Jack Handey
I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk… — Jack Handey
Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn't… — Jack Handey
I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment", even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call… — Jack Handey
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to… — Jack Handey
Nick Diaz is a champion so he's got the spirit that comes with it. So he's not going to give up mentally. You see a… — Georges St-Pierre
Sportsmanship is making sure you have respect for the guy you're playing across from. — Warren Moon
If the other guy is getting better, then you'd better be getting better faster than the other guy is getting better... or you're getting worse. — Tom Peters
Speaking of birthdays, our firstborn [recently turned 2]. As parents sometimes fondly do, we reminisced a bit about his early days on earth-the excitement, the… — Malcolm Forbes
Professionalism in tennis ... only resulted in making billionaires out of rude children, producing an onslaught of moody defectors, and a lot of guys with… — Dan Jenkins
I'm getting tired of saying hello to Stan Smith and not getting any reply. I'm cocky and confident and maybe I'm too bullheaded sometimes, but… — Jimmy Connors
My fines? I pay more fines than some guys' career prize money on the tour. — Goran Ivanisevic
I'm not Mr. Nice Guy, I'm a tough cookie — Thomas Muster
I think that always myself is my worst opponent. I always playing against myself first and then to the other one. So I'm playing against… — Unknown Author
One day when a linesman starts to laugh I swear I will hit the guy over the head with my racket. I think it will… — Ilie Nastase
Guys, you can date whomever you want, but marry a girl who can back up a trailer. — Michael Martin Murphey
We all know the guy who sits at the end of the local bar telling the story of how he threw the winning touchdown pass… — Don Panoz
Once after Barefoot In the Park had been playing for about a week I went back to see it, watching the audience, which was just… — Simon Neil
I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place. The guy in the place with the thing, you know.… — Dave Barry

Who Wrote These Guy Quotes

4,261 authors contributed a total of 8,437 Guy Quotes, led by these top contributors: