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Groucho Quotes by Groucho Marx
- No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
- [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
- Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.
- When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"
- To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
- Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you…
- Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?" Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.
- Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets…
- I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never…
More Groucho Quotes
- No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. — Groucho Marx
- [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. — Groucho Marx
- I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and changed… — Elliott Gould
- I came from a generation where women were almost deified, and like Groucho Marx's line, "I wouldn't want to be a member… — John Waters
- I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers,… — Woody Allen
- Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl. — Groucho Marx
- When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth" — Groucho Marx
- Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspective. — John Lithgow
- To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx. — Groucho Marx
- Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other three were Groucho Marx, Jim Morrison,… — Alice Cooper
- I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one… — Joe Rogan
- The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl. — Irving Berlin