Groucho Quotes

22 quotes by 12 authors

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. — Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. — Groucho Marx
I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and changed the bulb. When… — Elliott Gould
I came from a generation where women were almost deified, and like Groucho Marx's line, "I wouldn't want to be a member of a club… — John Waters
I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields. — Woody Allen
Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl. — Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth" — Groucho Marx
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspective. — John Lithgow
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx. — Groucho Marx
Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other three were Groucho Marx, Jim Morrison, and Pablo Picasso. — Alice Cooper
I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them. — Joe Rogan
The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl. — Irving Berlin
Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you… — Groucho Marx
Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?" Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight. — Groucho Marx
Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets… — Groucho Marx
I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never… — Groucho Marx
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a whole group of people, it spoke… — Noah Baumbach
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid. — Michael Feldman
Sea Shepherd is to terrorism what Groucho was to Marxism. — Paul Watson
As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thirds of your life, you… — Karen DeCrow

Who Wrote These Groucho Quotes

12 authors contributed a total of 22 Groucho Quotes as follows: