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God Quotes by Stephen Colbert
- Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
- Last night, we did the Threatdown -- God, it's hard to even talk about this -- and for the first time, I didn't mention bears.…
- Evil exists because of the disobedience of Satan. God gave Satan, and the angels, and man free will. Satan used his free will and abused…
- Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.
- Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our…
- I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
- Leaving religious texts open too interpretation is the downfall of religion itself. If it is truly the word of God then there is no room…
- A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise,…
- I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe…
- God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.
- In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
- In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.†Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
- As God said to Job, Checkmate
More God Quotes
- A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler… — Aristotle
- When I immersed myself in prayer and united myself with all the Masses that were being celebrated all over the world at… — Mary Faustina Kowalska
- Creation is not a property, which we can rule over at will; or, even less, is the property of only a few:… — Pope Francis
- To whom God will, there be the victory. — William Shakespeare
- I was a lousy nun. I couldn't do it. I couldn't find God. It wasn't suitable for me. It is suitable for… — Karen Armstrong
- Over the years my mother's steadfast faith in God has inspired me, particularly when I had to perform extremely difficult surgical procedures… — Benjamin Carson
- Marriage was created by the hand of God. No man, not even a Supreme Court, can undo what a holy God has… — Michele Bachmann
- If there is a God, he is a malign thug. — Mark Twain