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Best Funny Quotes by Will Rogers
- I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
- Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
- Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How…
- A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
- A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
- I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
- There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
- It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
- Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
- Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
- Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
- The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
- Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
- I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.
- I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
- The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
- When you're through learning, you're through.
More Ways to Read Funny Quotes by Will Rogers
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin