« All Funny Quotes · Tim Allen's Page
Funny Quotes by Tim Allen
- Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
- Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
- Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot…
- My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
- Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men…
- I do a lot of family shows.
- I have a thing for tools.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams