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Funny Quotes by Scott Roeben
- I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
- Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing at it.
- They say God has existed from the beginning of time and will exist beyond the end of time. Can you imagine trying to sit through…
- As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.
- Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.
- What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.
- I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax.
- I once dated a girl on the track team. It didn't work out. She kept giving me the runaround.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin