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Funny Quotes by Alisa Gattus
- That`s nice honey. Grandma`s version of cool story bro.
- Turn your phone off, Yeah no... I`ll just put it on silent.
- Sharks aren`t the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would attack him too..
- Motivational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
- If breakups never existed, the music industry would go bankrupt.
- That awkward moment when you pretend to die in front your siblings and they beat the shit out of you to prove you`re alive.
- Message sent failed. Would you like to retry? Well, OBVIOUSLY, I was sending it for a reason.
- Send me a pic never fails to ruin a conversation.
- I go to a school where the students are higher than their grades.
- I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
- Dear kindergartens texting on an iPhone, When I was your age, I had to use cups strung together by a string and pretend it was…
- If Spongebob is the main character, why is Patrick the star?
- Just because you`re attractive doesn`t mean you`re my type.
- Shortest horror story: Today is Monday
- MTV has gone from Music Television to Maternity Television.
- Instead of saying LOL, I`m gonna say SALTS (Smiled A Little Then Stopped) It`s more truthful.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin