Claus Quotes

153 Claus quotes by 127 unique authors

We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus; but our ideas… — Karen Armstrong
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. — Victor Borge
I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib… — Julie Burchill
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus. — Samuel Butler
He was a parade all by himself, a burst of dazzle and jingle, Santa Claus drinking his whiskey straight and groaning with a bellyache... Babe… — Jimmy Cannon
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened… — W.C. Fields
You remember when you were a kid growing up, and believed in Santa Claus? There's not much difference between Santa Claus and me today, you… — Bobby Knight
A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty. — William Feather
God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat. — H. L. Mencken
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is… — Jack Handey
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard… — Al Smith
One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts. — Dennis Franz
Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent… — Robert E. Lee
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset. — James Gould Cozzens
The saddest moment in a child's life is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Vince Russo is. — Jim Cornette
How is Christmas regarded today? The legend of Santa Claus, the Christmas tree, the decorations of tinsel and mistletoe, and the giving of gifts all… — Howard W. Hunter
Well when I was a kid, I asked Santa Claus for some toys. Santa Claus wrote me a letter that he lost his bag. He… — Benicio Del Toro
Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying… — Meg Ryan
What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this… — Bill Maher
I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementarys school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was… — Unknown Author
There's been fifty-million people that died since Sharon Tate died and I got everybody in Santa Claus land chasing me, trying to make me feel… — Charles Manson
In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? — Rush Limbaugh
I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9. — Thom Yorke
Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus. — Jim Lovell
Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane! — Gene Autry

Who Wrote These Claus Quotes

127 authors contributed a total of 153 Claus Quotes, led by these top contributors: