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Alcohol Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
- AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again.
- BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
- DEFENCE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.
- DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins.
- DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends Over And over again that you love them.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that Ex-lovers Are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically Converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are Tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you.
- WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode.
- Some women need to walk around with a stripper pole to match their outfit.
- Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast.
- Amazing how you can't get anything done when you do nothing.
- FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
- FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
- My twitter timeline is way more impressive than my real life.
- All a woman really wants is to know you care. And all of the sandles ever made.
- If I was an octopus, I would check my emails while I feed myself while I pick my nose while I masturbate while I check…
- Ladies don't be afraid to get naughty. Rock his world and leave him begging for more!
- I used to hate people who wore Check shirts. Now I just hate everybody.
- I still think that working hard is lame.
- When I'm on my deathbed, the nicest thing anyone can say to me is, You were right about everything.
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More Alcohol Quotes
- It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken. — Aristotle
- On average, drug prisoners spend more time in federal prison than rapists, who often get out on early release because of the… — Michael Badnarik
- Drug prohibition has caused gang warfare and other violent crimes by raising the prices of drugs so much that vicious criminals enter… — Michael Badnarik
- Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water,… — Dave Barry
- According to Teenage Research Unlimited, 51 percent of 13-15 year olds say they will be faced with making a decision regarding alcohol… — Xavier Becerra
- I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food… — Brendan Behan
- Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. — Robert Benchley
- I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. — George Best
- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. — Ambrose Bierce
- The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. — Humphrey Bogart
- Never accept a drink from a urologist. — Erma Bombeck
- Wine is a treacherous friend who you must always be on guard for. — Christian Nestell Bovee