Funny Quote by Bill Engvall Download Open image “I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.” — Bill Engvall ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.9 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Humor Lodges Tree Trees Two Two trees Walking
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me - and I didn't hear it. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
Once I fell out of a tree and was hit by a motorbike. I still have the scar on my head now. — Nobu Matsuhisa Copy Share Image
At the age of two-and-a-half, I was run down by a truck. I had gone rogue in the house while my mother was bathing… — Trudie Styler Copy Share Image
I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
My caddie 'Stovepipe' tried to talk me into hitting a 3-wood. But I took out the turf rider (4-wood) instead. The moment I hit… — Gene Sarazen Copy Share Image
It didn't matter if I got bitten by a dog or I ripped my pants on the fence post or I poked myself in… — Anthony Kiedis Copy Share Image
I was never lost in the woods in my whole life, though once I was confused for three days. — Daniel Boone Copy Share Image
I was a wild kid. I was left to climb trees. And you know those railways logs, they piled them up, six feet apart,… — Shirley Bassey Copy Share Image
I am out in public and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I go 'what is it?' And she goes 'we're going on a shark feeding frenzy!' Okay, wait... we're in a boat looking down in… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your buddies. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
God was havin' himself a good day when he made boobs. He must've stepped back from Eve and said, Yes ma'am! Those'll work. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
