All Terry Pratchett Quotes
- -Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. Anywhere
- (About a cookbook...) - What about this one? Maids of Honor? - Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts. Cookbook
- I tell you, commander, it's true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that… Best
- And what are you doing on it, I would like to know? Running away from home, yesno? If you were a boy I'd say are… Boy
- Well, the news has got around. The Duchess of Keepsake has invited us to a ball, Sir Henry and Lady Withering have invited us to… Ball
- There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if… All
- Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it. Everyone
- Ye ken, we've been robbin' and running aroound on all kinds o' worlds for a lang time, and I'll tell ye this: The universe is… All
- Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to. Goodness
- He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true. Absolutely
- Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless. Children
- He hated games they made the world look too simple. Chess, in particular, had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went… Always Annoyed
- Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is. Bigger
- Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up… Actual
- Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have… Bad
- He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. Behind
- Don't stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it. Eat
- It as true that normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well know fact. ... Besides, almost all dogs don't… All
- Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know… Among
- I know it’s not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig!" "My mother always said that… Always Said
- [...] the awesome splendor of the universe is much easier to deal with if you think of it as a series of small chunks. Awesome
- Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. She believed that the world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they controlled you. But… Always Said
- I don't regret it, you know. I would do it all again. Children are our hope for the future." THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THE… All
- Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job. Cruel
- It was one of those problematic occasions with long silences, sporadic coughs, and people saying isolated things like, "Well, isn't this nice. Coughs