Sloane Crosley

I am starting to like LA, but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a…

— Sloane Crosley

Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit,…

— Sloane Crosley

Okay, this is Fran Lebowitz. She gave an interview once for the Paris Review about trying to write fiction and saying that…

— Sloane Crosley

Sometimes in New York, you're walking down the street and you realize there's a girl walking in front of you whose thighs…

— Sloane Crosley

The year most of my high school friends and I got our driver's permits, the coolest thing one could do was stand…

— Sloane Crosley

“[He] is the worst kind of asshole they make - the kind who is completely oblivious to how he sounds, the kind…

— Sloane Crosley

The trick to scrambled eggs is to remove half the milk from the container and shake what's left as hard as you…

— Sloane Crosley

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

— Sloane Crosley

I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

— Sloane Crosley

Personal technology has given us the freedom of being able to do whatever we want - and in the case of celebrities…

— Sloane Crosley

“It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzeheimer's.”

— Sloane Crosley

Air travel is the safest form of travel aside from walking; even then, the chances of being hit by a public bus…

— Sloane Crosley

I thought I'd had another few decades before my noise complaint years.

— Sloane Crosley

and there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a…

— Sloane Crosley

I use Ole Henriksen eye gel when I think of it, and go for facials when spa gift certificates appear as a…

— Sloane Crosley

“I was stunned. I pulled the phone away and looked quizzically at the hole-punched speaker. Aside from the blood obligation to be…

— Sloane Crosley

Kids across the country have grown up accepting the idea that no one can harm your family if at least one of…

— Sloane Crosley

I was pretty dorky, but there are tiers of dorkdom and I always had friends, though they were equally dorky. I was…

— Sloane Crosley

“The mortality rate among sea horses is not to be believed. Because the difference between a dead sea horse and a living…

— Sloane Crosley

It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.

— Sloane Crosley

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

— Sloane Crosley

I was compiling a list in my head titled 'Reasons to Get Up: You Don't Have to Leave, but You Can't Pee…

— Sloane Crosley

What annoyed me was that I so often attempted to weasel out of things on purpose, it killed me to do it…

— Sloane Crosley

But now my problems had been set loose. They could be anywhere at any time and I was just like everyone else…

— Sloane Crosley

Some of the writers I admire who seem very, very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the…

— Sloane Crosley