Lewis Black Quotes
152 quotes
in 1779 categories
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In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I…
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If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating…
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All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
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Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
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There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
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It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!
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And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught…
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What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height…
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I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the…
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I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.
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If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
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I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
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I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track.
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Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony…
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You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
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A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people -…
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Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.
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I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
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Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.
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People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.
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