Lewis Black Quotes

152 quotes in 1779 categories

• In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I…
• If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating…
• All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
• Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
• There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
• It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!
• And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught…
• What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height…
• I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the…
• I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.
• If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
• I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
• I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track.
• Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony…
• You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
• A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people -…
• Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.
• I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
• Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.
• People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

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