“That's the famous vampire Helgarson you're riding with, isn't it? Is he fond of lattes?" "I don't know." I looked over at… — Kevin Hearne Famous Copy Share Image
Not everyone can be bribed with meat, Oberon." "They Can't? Oh! you mean they're vegetarian." "No, they eat meat. It just doesn't… — Kevin Hearne Decision Copy Share Image
Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet… — Kevin Hearne Electricity Copy Share Image
“And I knew too well the loneliness that clamps around one’s heart when loved ones have passed on before. To have that… — Kevin Hearne Companionship Copy Share Image
-“Say no more,” Leif interrupted. “I understand. I will simply have to kill them all myself.” -"There he goes again. I’m telling… — Kevin Hearne Boxes Copy Share Image
“I gladly shucked off my wet, muddy jeans and put on the new pair. I noticed she hadn't bought me any underwear;… — Kevin Hearne Cowboy hat Copy Share Image
Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered… — Kevin Hearne Believe Copy Share Image
“ Oberon said from behind the counter. I busied myself making Emily's tea and spoke to him through our link. 'Yes, well,… — Kevin Hearne High road Copy Share Image
The Morrigan’s ideas of sport and mine varied widely. As a Chooser of the Slain, she tends to enjoy nothing so much… — Kevin Hearne Enjoy Copy Share Image
Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another… — Kevin Hearne Coughing Copy Share Image
“What if one of your customers hears us talking about covers and such things?" "We're in the perfect place to talk of… — Kevin Hearne Witches Copy Share Image
“You're trying to be cool now , Leif? Seriously?" "I am the shit, home slice, straight up," he replied. "No. I mean,… — Kevin Hearne Dinner party Copy Share Image
“ What's silly is paying five bucks for hot milk and flavored syrup! But now I see what's really been going on… — Kevin Hearne Bad hair Copy Share Image
“Vestigial remnants of hunter behavior manifests itself as douchebaggery in males when confronted with the emasculating role of modern man, where they… — Kevin Hearne Alpha-males Copy Share Image
“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes,… — Kevin Hearne Beer Copy Share Image
“Of course, I didn’t choose to fail. Failure is rarely a conscious decision and it’s often out of our control, determined by… — Kevin Hearne Fail Copy Share Image
How would you take care of it?” I asked. He shrugged. “I know some ghouls. I make a couple calls, the guys… — Kevin Hearne Bags Copy Share Image
Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring… — Kevin Hearne Companion Copy Share Image
“My neighbor raised a shaking index finger to point at the saguaro. "That moving cactus...and the big bug...and you, you spooky bastard.… — Kevin Hearne Antichrist Copy Share Image
Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer.… — Kevin Hearne Answers Copy Share Image
“That would be me,” I said. “Good afternoon, gentlemen. Is this a joke?” “I beg your pardon?” the older fellow inquired politely,… — Kevin Hearne First time Copy Share Image
“He thought in silence before answering. “I don’t think loneliness is a thing that can be borne: it’s so heavy and crushing… — Kevin Hearne Loneliness Copy Share Image
I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else.… — Kevin Hearne Behave Copy Share Image
Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She… — Kevin Hearne Accidents Copy Share Image
“My hens all died and my plow is broke My well is dry and my yak just croaked My farm’s all rotted… — Kevin Hearne Boots Copy Share Image
“I have never thought that winds howled so much as moaned. My imagination gives them reasons: They moan because they’re weary of… — Kevin Hearne Doing Just Fine Copy Share Image
“Heh. I think you made your point, Atticus. Gods Below, Oberon, that was horrendous! You just violated the Schwarzenegger Pun Reduction Treaty… — Kevin Hearne First place Copy Share Image
“this guy is pretty slick, Atticus. What else do you think he has in his pockets? Maybe a thick salami for me?>… — Kevin Hearne Good thing Copy Share Image
“Oberon’s been kidnapped along with one of the werewolves, and that’s why we’re all so upset. We’ll talk more tomorrow, and I… — Kevin Hearne Druid Copy Share Image
“If you've got some hopelessly overmatched heroes fighting evil and some Imperial types marching, John Williams is your guy. You need a… — Kevin Hearne Fighting evil Copy Share Image
I've often been flabbergasted by modern pharmaceutical ads on television. The list of side effects for some maladies often sound worse than… — Kevin Hearne Ads Copy Share Image
“You, sir," I said, "have all the dignity of a badger with the clap. Shark shit has more fiber than you. I'm… — Kevin Hearne Money Copy Share Image
“The key to faking deaths is a fine appreciation of arterial spray patterns. I have found that blood bags work very well… — Kevin Hearne Death Copy Share Image
Before he (Francis Bacon) came along, people conducted all their arguments through a series of logical fallacies or simply shouting louder than… — Kevin Hearne Argument Copy Share Image
“Look, I don't know what you are, but you're more than a geologist, if you are one at all. I've met lots… — Kevin Hearne Druids Copy Share Image
“but greatness is in the act of creation and not necessarily in the finished product. Creating is the yin to the yang… — Kevin Hearne Beauty Copy Share Image
“Turns out that when you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life… — Kevin Hearne Humor Copy Share Image
“Atticus makes gigantic mistakes at times. But there are also times like this one when he makes of his life a poem… — Kevin Hearne Atticus Copy Share Image
“First, we need to get a buttload of nails.” “A buttload? How much is that?” “Uh …” Granuaile rescued me with her superior… — Kevin Hearne Humor Copy Share Image
“This guy is an epic douche. Kick his shiny ass, Atticus, Oberon said. I compartmentalized his comment and resolved to enjoy it… — Kevin Hearne Atticus Testify Copy Share Image
