What the world wants iz [sic] good examples, not so mutch advice; advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves. — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
Dangers are sum like a kold bath, very dangerous while you stand stripped on the bank, but often not only harmless, but… — Josh Billings Baths Copy Share Image
As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the… — Josh Billings Cards Copy Share Image
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. — Josh Billings Cures Copy Share Image
Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
Waves are inspiring not because they rise and fail, but because each time they fall. They never fail to rise again. — Josh Billings Failing Copy Share Image
Love iz like the meazles; we kant have it bad but onst, and the later in life we have it the tuffer… — Josh Billings Kant Copy Share Image
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has bin getting a little lower ever since. — Josh Billings Lower Copy Share Image
It's not the things you don't know that fool you. It's the things you do know that ain't so. — Josh Billings Know Copy Share Image
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. — Josh Billings Family Copy Share Image
It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the… — Josh Billings Best love Copy Share Image
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf… — Josh Billings Bread Copy Share Image
There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient. — Josh Billings Efficiency Copy Share Image
Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher… — Josh Billings Later in life Copy Share Image
Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. — Josh Billings Hunting Copy Share Image
Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger. — Josh Billings Baiting Copy Share Image
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. — Josh Billings Comedy Copy Share Image
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. — Josh Billings Bring Copy Share Image
Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw. — Josh Billings Adam Copy Share Image
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. — Josh Billings Fools Copy Share Image
There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to… — Josh Billings Enjoy Copy Share Image
Sekts and creeds ov religion, are like pocket compesses, good enuff tu pinte out the direction, but the nearer the pole yu… — Josh Billings Creeds Copy Share Image
Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity. — Josh Billings Dread Copy Share Image
Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent. — Josh Billings Age Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t. — Josh Billings Fools Copy Share Image
Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one. — Josh Billings Bear Copy Share Image
Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them. — Josh Billings Husband Copy Share Image
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. — Josh Billings Angel Copy Share Image
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. — Josh Billings Stamp Copy Share Image
“Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.” — Josh Billings Blunders Copy Share Image
I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me. — Josh Billings Bother Copy Share Image
If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn. — Josh Billings Attention Copy Share Image
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. — Josh Billings Achieve Copy Share Image
True wisdom is plenty of experience, observation, and reflection. False wisdom is plenty of ignorance, arrogance, and impudence. — Josh Billings Arrogance Copy Share Image
I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now,… — Josh Billings Cat Copy Share Image
We have some writers so abstruse and deep that they drown themselves in their fathomless sentences. — Josh Billings Drown Copy Share Image
Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of… — Josh Billings Character Copy Share Image
The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another. — Josh Billings Aids Copy Share Image
The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide. — Josh Billings Buzzards Copy Share Image
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