Daniel Handler Quotes

495 quotes in 5123 categories

• But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for…
• They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
• A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a…
• In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you…
• Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.
• Everybody has a theory.
• Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junk mail.
• Right, good temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.
• If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
• Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
• One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks,…
• It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream…
• Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay…
• A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so…
• This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
• The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.
• It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.
• Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.
• I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn't.
• All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.

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