Daniel Handler Quotes

495 quotes in 5123 categories

• Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend together,"…
• Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
• If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
• I write storys to entertain not to be the best
• They looked at each other like a pair of parentheses.
• There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little…
• Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.
• There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
• For Beatrice--My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.
• A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing…
• Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been…
• But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two…
• I guess we’ll be traveling in uncharted waters.” “That’ll be fun,” Phil said.
• Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!
• The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
• I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
• Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
• Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
• Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
• It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.

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