Daniel Handler Quotes

495 quotes in 5123 categories

• Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only…
• It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked…
• Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
• There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages…
• One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one’s regrets. Something will happen to you, and you will do the wrong…
• Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look…
• The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
• One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is…
• It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make…
• It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable.
• Bad circumstances have a way of ruining things that would otherwise be pleasant.
• There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.
• Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending…
• Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
• Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.
• Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
• The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing…
• There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
• Waiting is one of life’s hardships.
• Never look a gift lion in the mouth.

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