Daniel Handler Quotes

495 quotes in 5123 categories

• and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
• People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.
• Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and…
• the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.
• Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink.
• What should we call him?" Klaus asked. "You should call him Dr. Montgomery," Mr. Poe replied, "unless he tells you to call him Montgomery. Both…
• I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.
• Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies
• There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course…
• It's different," you said. "You've made, Min, everything different for me. Everything's like coffee you made me try, better than I ever - or the…
• She gave me a hug and for a second I was embraced by a body that makes me want to go home and never eat…
• Who are you?" Violet asked. It is confusing to fall asleep in the daytime and wake up at night. "what are you doing with Uncle…
• They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses…
• Help me,' Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.
• The expression "following suit" is a curious one, because it has nothing to do with walking behind a matching set of clothing. If you follow…
• Grammar is the greatest joy in life, don't you find?
• It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you…
• It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world
• There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your…
• Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.

Browse Daniel Handler Quotes by Category