Daniel Handler Quotes

495 quotes in 5123 categories

• You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
• I think I’ve always believed that there is one person in the universe who you’re truly meant for–for whom you are truly meant–and the fact…
• I don’t smoke, although it looks fantastic in films. But I light matches on those thinking blank nights when I crawl my route out onto…
• You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we…
• I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.
• One cannot spend forever sitting and solving the mysteries of oone's history.
• Undeveloped, the whole thing,tossed into a box before we really had a chance to know what we had, and that's why we broke up.
• Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
• If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives.
• Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?
• If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down
• Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
• I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed…
• I know you can't see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you'll understand it this once, because even…
• Take it back, Ed. Take it all back.
• I wore it, this careless thing you don't even remember giving to me from your bag. It wasn't a gift, this thing I'm returning. It…
• The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten it, Ed, I…
• It doesn't take courage to kill someone,' Klaus said. 'It takes a severe lack of moral stamina.
• If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
• Troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them.

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