Daniel Handler Quotes

495 quotes in 5123 categories

• But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simple, but doing the right thing is…
• Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
• Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
• It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have…
• There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.
• This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to…
• How do you forget something? You just walk away from it, those who are still alive. There are so few clearings in our hearts and…
• Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again.
• A bolt from the blue.
• I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm…
• A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying…
• If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
• Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
• It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.
• Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and…
• Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
• The sad truth is the truth is sad.
• I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
• If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine…
• ...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.

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