Best Craig Ferguson Lines
- There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits. Break
- Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck. Luck
- Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know Already Know
- I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that. Believe
- People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid. Children
- 114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104. Funny
- By the power of Steven Wright's Beard! Beard
- I realize that I am not a journalist. So anything I say is not important. Important
- Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. Apartment
- I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane. America
- You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people. Blame
- The world can be such a fright, but it belongs to us tonight. Belongs
- You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble. All
- When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. 'You don't pay me back I break both yer legs.'… All
- Oh Satan you're a wily one. Funny
- That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil. Card
- I don't think wood was discovered in Britain until the 1970's. That's when I discovered it anyway. Britain
- I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist. Art
- With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you’re parodying. Good
- Be careful who you choose as your hero or who you choose to deify, be it Clay Aiken or Barack Obama. You put all you're… Aiken
- Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of my friends to… Beyond
- Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it… Addiction
- I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die. Bar
- I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me. Assail
- Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those… Accepted
More Ways to Read Craig Ferguson Quotes
- Best Craig Ferguson Quotes (Craig Ferguson Quotes)
- Best Craig Ferguson Sayings (Craig Ferguson Quotes)
- Best Craig Ferguson Quotations (Craig Ferguson Quotes)
- Best Craig Ferguson Words (Craig Ferguson Quotes)
- Best Craig Ferguson Thoughts (Craig Ferguson Quotes)
- Best Craig Ferguson Wisdom (Craig Ferguson Quotes)