“Parenting: Nobody really wants the job, but everybody thinks they can do better.” — Bruce Lansky Children Copy Share Image
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight. — Bruce Lansky Age Copy Share Image
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms. — Bruce Lansky Cold Copy Share Image
I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot… — Bruce Lansky Beer Copy Share Image
Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather… — Bruce Lansky Foursomes Copy Share Image
“Too Busy I've folded all my laundry and put it in the drawer. I've changed my linen, made my bed, and swept… — Bruce Lansky Humour Copy Share Image
“Do not oversleep and miss the school bus- you'll be late. That's a habit teachers generally don't appreciate. Never tell your friends… — Bruce Lansky Habits Copy Share Image
Golf has more rules than any other game because golf has more cheaters than any other game — Bruce Lansky Sports Copy Share Image
When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!' — Bruce Lansky Baby Copy Share Image
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife. — Bruce Lansky Ex wife Copy Share Image
On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied. — Bruce Lansky Cheating Copy Share Image
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf. — Bruce Lansky Broken Copy Share Image
“My Teacher Sees Right Through Me I didn’t do my homework. My teacher asked me, “Why?” I answered him, “It’s much too… — Bruce Lansky Humour Copy Share Image
The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. — Bruce Lansky Ends Copy Share Image
“What I Found in My Desk A ripe peach with an ugly bruise, a pair of stinky tennis shoes, a day-old ham-and-cheese… — Bruce Lansky Bubble gum Copy Share Image
I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing. — Bruce Lansky Driving Copy Share Image
My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time. — Bruce Lansky Antidote Copy Share Image
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. — Bruce Lansky Balls Copy Share Image
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole? — Bruce Lansky Balls Copy Share Image
