All Andy Rooney Quotes
- I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let… Advertising
- People waiting for an elevator don't know what to do, standing with strangers. There is nothing to do. Its an uneasy time. Some press the… Button
- I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you… American
- I just sat there looking at television, sort of dumb and thought how horrible it was. I had -- the grand aspects of it did… Amazing
- Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for… End
- If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Happiness
- Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be… Computer
- The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Animal
- People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. Accept
- Elephants and grandchildren never forget. Elephants
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Anytime
- I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time… Arranged
- Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter. Health
- If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. Dog
- Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens. Depends
- I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you. Age
- It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Age
- Death is a distant rumor to the young. Death
- We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. Boss
- The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad… Blessed