Andy Rooney Quotes
- Every one starts out being an atheist.
- I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
- Why am I an atheist? I ask you: Why is anybody not an atheist? Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with…
- There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
- You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know…
- The last birthday that's any good is 23.
- Those to whom his word was revealed were always alone in some remote place, like Moses. There wasn't anyone else around when Mohammed got the…
- Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How…
- If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.
- I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
- My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under…
- Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
- We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or…
- Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my…
- I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
- I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
- I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
- I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
- I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
- I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.