If you ever try and fail, you need to erase all evidence that you tried. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who decided that paper beats rock? Have someone hold up a sheet of paper in front of their face, then throw a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate Halloween. Every year I get kids knocking my door dressed like skeletons asking me for food. I'm glad I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My alarm clock & I had a fight. It wanted me to get up, I refused. Things escalated. Now I'm awake &… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, theres nothing right; and on the right side,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Funny how it's always the woman with fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake boobs....that have the audacity to scream Girrrrrrrrl ain't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck,i would swim to the bottom and never come up. But… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What does it show when your popular on facebook... Shows you have no life — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear google, can u just let me write my sentence before u start guessing... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend asked me to make her feel special...so I gave her a helmet and crayons. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is like mario bro's, ya have to slay a lot of dragons before ya meet ya princess. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the point of a high school reunion? I have Facebook. I already know you got fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Opinions are like orgasms. Mine's the most important and I really don't care about yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If bars don't serve drunk people, I dont think McDonald's should be able to serve fat people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why are hoes like 'Oh, its winter, I need a boyfriend to keep me warm?' No bitch, buy a coat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Editors at fashion magazines, you're doing a great job. Women continue to hate their bodies... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im so indie, she thinks to herself as she puts the lyrics to Skinny Love as her Facebook status. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So the Titanic is coming out again but in 3D...I wonder if they will see the iceburg this time... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How come in Spider-man 3, when his suit turned black, Spider-man became a thief and a criminal... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
