Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I freely may discover What should please me in my lover, I would have her fair and witty, Savouring more of… — Ben Jonson Copy Share Image
The Law is a grim, unsmiling thing. Not Justice, though. Justice is witty and whimsical and kind and caring. — Rohinton Mistry Copy Share Image
I just saw a fat girl crying while girls pointed & laughed at her. I thought ,She must be finding it hard… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
He is forced to be literate about the illiterate, witty about the witless and coherent about the incoherent. — John Crosby Copy Share Image
“Spanish—how shall I say this?—is like Portuguese spoken with a speech impediment.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm… — Paris Hilton Copy Share Image
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?” — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I imagine witches to be people who sit around like my witty grandmother, people who are injustice collectors or humiliation collectors. I… — Lore Segal Copy Share Image
Before we get too depressed about the state of our politics, let's remember our history ..... Many forms of Government have been… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if you forget their birthday. — Jason Fundora Copy Share Image
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the whole damn community will stop by to… — Donny Norris Copy Share Image
You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
