When in doubt, I can stare blankly. The rubber face. There's only so many ways you can stare incredulously at the camera… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The thing that [the Senate and the House] don't realize is that everyone wants them to come from beyond that contradiction so… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Yes, it seems that as the President (George W. Bush) comes to the end of his two terms, he's finally realized the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Songwriting is the way of perpetual want. Songwriters are the blessed/cursed people. You will never have a moment's peace in your life.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People always say, when did you realize you were funny? And I think it's not that you realize you were funny. It's… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
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![“It's nice to know that [God] can destroy us in…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/12d/jon-stewart-455_god_it-s-nice-to-know-that-god-can-destroy-u_2722806.jpg)
