Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
All in all it's a pretty great day for major league sports. At long last they've decided that gay people are fit… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't want to die before my parents die, especially my mother. Because I think that's tragic. Because I don't want her… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The thing that [the Senate and the House] don't realize is that everyone wants them to come from beyond that contradiction so… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Whenever you take over something that is popular and has a fanatical following that loves it, you're never going to please everyone.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Songwriting is the way of perpetual want. Songwriters are the blessed/cursed people. You will never have a moment's peace in your life.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell you from… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
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![“Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why.…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/128/jon-stewart-455_boys_don-t-confuse-father-s-day-with-valentin_3112645.jpg)
