America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I used to live with two other guys. We used to cook two things. The first one was called 'cheese... thing' and… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image