Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate... — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the English language,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
They've got something they do it with, I think it's called a mocracy, and it means everyone in the whole country can… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it’s not your fault, it’s… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The conflict is not between Christianity and Islam or between East and West - instead, it is between stupid people and other… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The enemy isn’t men, or women, it’s bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om his… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree." One of the giants grinned at him. Druellae… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Right!" "Right!" "You can get there!" "I can get there!" "You're a natural at counting to two!" "I'm a nat'ral at counting… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
