My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more than a snooze button on Monday morning. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The moment you get when you just wanna get up in someone's face say Talk shit get hit, talk more shit and… — Isabelle Cary Copy Share Image
Granny looking better than some of them young ting! It look like she have some style to? — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All you have to do in life is smile, look forward and ignore the bitch talking shit behind you — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Tell them all I know now, shout it from the roof top write it on the sky line all we had is… — Amanda Copy Share Image
The more shit you talk the more people are going to stop listening to you. One day you will die alone. — Merle Anthony Rowland Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes people will talk about you when they envy the life you lead. Let them be. You affected their life; don't let… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's hard for me to say I love you because the word you isn't beer or sex or football. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oprah Winfrey! I have a bad crush on her since I was a small kid! the fat one !! — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People are gonna talk about me, especially when they envy me. I might as well let them talk, because somehow I apparently… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
