I remember there was this thing I used to do at night. I think it was called "sleep." — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The freedom of any society varies proportionately with the volume of its laughter. — Zero Mostel Copy Share Image
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos. — Tony Kornheiser Copy Share Image
He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously. — Oliver Goldsmith Copy Share Image
You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock." "Very amusing,… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere. — Noel Coward Copy Share Image
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interupt the start of yours? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The last thing I want my robot to be is sarcastic. I want them to be pragmatic and reliable - just like… — Sebastian Thrun Copy Share Image
He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin. — Dorothy L. Sayers Copy Share Image
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two… — Humaira Copy Share Image
If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies. — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
