He’s sort of a homeless horse,” I said. “I’m leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won’t be back for… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist! — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you." "You are such a cop." "Tell me about it. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger. "Not drunk," Ranger said.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli." I wasn't talking about Morelli. I… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Thats what her cars do," Lula said. "They explode. But I gotta tell you this was the best. This here's the first… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy. "I'll… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
THE NOTE said the first clue was "in the big one." I looked at the jumble of letters that followed, and I… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused,… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. "Fainted," I said. Ranger walked to… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?" I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Way back before the 'Alex Barnaby' series was first published, we were talking with Dark Horse then about making it into a graphic novel… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
