“John ducked casually across some DO NOT DUCK CASUALLY ACROSS THIS TAPE tape” — David Wong Tape Copy Share Image
If I knew me as somebody else, I would hate me just as much. Why have a double standard? — David Wong Double Copy Share Image
“Yep. Thanks for calling us, Drake. You’re the kind of man a man wants when a man wants a man.” — David Wong Gratitude Copy Share Image
“I'm scared David" "That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of” — David Wong Fear Copy Share Image
“He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night.” — David Wong Told Headlights Copy Share Image
“Of all the dogs I’ve known in my life, I’ve never seen a better driver.” — David Wong Dogs Copy Share Image
No, I don't, like, play an instrument or anything.I'm just...well, you saw me at the beginning there. I was the guy that… — David Wong Down and Copy Share Image
“You don't realize how terrifying the world can be for someone like that, someone who would rather stay in a familiar hole… — David Wong Terrifying Copy Share Image
“I tried to say something cool, wound up stammering something like, “WANNA YOU WANNA WEENIE ME?” The end kind of trailed off… — David Wong Horror Copy Share Image
“I said, “This could not be any stupider.” John said, “Dave, you remember the words to ‘Camel Holocaust’?” “Ah, once again, you… — David Wong Prove me wrong Copy Share Image
“I closed my eyes and let out a breath that smelled like I’d eaten an entire wet dog and washed it down… — David Wong Smelled Copy Share Image
“He had braces, sported a black Limp Bizkit Tshirt. Limp Bizkit is a band that was popular at the time. If you’re… — David Wong Limp bizkit Copy Share Image
Which would prove I'm a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to… — David Wong Fighting Copy Share Image
“You think the jellyfish ate her?" "Bones and all?" "We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared… — David Wong Talking Tentacled Copy Share Image
“I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it… — David Wong Spider Copy Share Image
“Marconi said, "I see you have your instruments. Can any of you sing? The old spirituals work best." John said, "I can… — David Wong Music making Copy Share Image
“She was a hippie. I could tell, even dressed in a red prisoner jumpsuit. She had some haphazard braids in her hair,… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“I reached for the knob. At the same moment it began to melt and transform, turning pink and finally taking the shape… — David Wong Time Copy Share Image
“I feel stretched out, like too little butter scraped over too much waffle. And then it all falls down into one of… — David Wong Humor Copy Share Image
“That black pool of shame bubbled up in my head again. Then, a spark came along and set it alight. The choice… — David Wong Anger Copy Share Image
“We simplify tens of millions of individuals down into simplistic stereotypes, so that they hold the space of only one individual in… — David Wong Copy Share Image
Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax… — David Wong Bitter Copy Share Image
Different moralities must share some general features if they are to perform their functions of coordinating beings having particular kinds of motivations.… — David Wong Character Copy Share Image
“I stared at the price tags and thought, Why don’t you fucking kill yourself? I have that thought a lot, actually. Hey,… — David Wong Food stamps Copy Share Image
“From day one it was like society was this violent, complicated dance and everybody had taken lessons but me. Knocked to the… — David Wong Conspiracy theories Copy Share Image
“John and I have made this stuff our hobby, in the way that an especially attractive prisoner makes a hobby out of… — David Wong Humorous Copy Share Image
“Amy ran on sugar, caffeine, and pain pills, and would sacrifice an entire night of sleep to level up a character in… — David Wong Falling behind Copy Share Image
At this point two elderly security guards in parkas, the guys who normally work the front desk at the plant, asked John… — David Wong Accents Copy Share Image
In fact, our need to feel like big shots keeps us wedded to inadequate perspectives on the world, keeps us from exploring… — David Wong Acknowledge Copy Share Image
“Imagine fifty thousand men trapped on a desert island, deprived of food and water and sex but somehow kept alive for fifty… — David Wong Cannibalism Copy Share Image
“He gave me a look that would have made cancer apologize, then ran like hell.” — David Wong Apologize Copy Share Image
“I turned, ran, fired the shotgun into the air and shouted, “Bomb! There’s a bomb in the fountain! Everybody run for your… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“Arnie sighed and for a quick moment looked genuinely sympathetic that someone could dream up something this elaborately sad.” — David Wong Time Copy Share Image
“Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan’s… — David Wong Limbs Piling Copy Share Image
You see, Frank found out the hard way that the dark things lurking in the night don’t haunt old houses or abandoned… — David Wong Abandoned Copy Share Image
“I noticed John had brought along a thermos of his coffee, this “favor” already qualifying as an all-nighter. I admit, the horrific… — David Wong Coffee Copy Share Image
“A cockroach has no soul. Yet it runs and eats and shits and fucks and breeds. It has no soul, yet it… — David Wong Cockroach Copy Share Image
