“My zip code is my salary. Too bad I live in 32256 and not 90210. Also, I lied—but only because the zip code… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find it, and how much… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The code of the coward is to run away. I know, because I wrote the manual.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My heartbeat’s so loud it’s like a tap dancer in my chest. No, it’s more like Mr. Morse, tapping out the code… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I live my life according to a code. You might know it by the surname Morse.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The cute girl at the bar asked for my number. I told her I’m number one. Then I gave her the area… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
