“Sweet Jesus, she looks like a clown that just woke up after a gang bang.” — Tara Sivec Clown Copy Share Image
“No one likes an ugly crier. It's uncomfortable for all parties involved.” — Tara Sivec Ugly Copy Share Image
“I just wanted to hear him speak again. His voice made me want to take my pants off.” — Tara Sivec Voice Want Copy Share Image
“Everett was wrong when he said nothing will change between us. This moment, right here…it changes everything . And it’s about damn… — Tara Sivec Time Copy Share Image
“It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth” — Tara Sivec Hilarious Copy Share Image
“My father had bought him a shirt that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic, have you… — Tara Sivec Children Copy Share Image
“If I keep sampling the goods like this my ass is going to grow another cheek to make room for all the… — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
“Oh, sweetie, you are a jackass. I love you, but you are dumber than a one legged duck in an ass kicking… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Or maybe you know how two-hundred Post-it notes with pictures of penises drawn on them were glued to every inch of my… — Tara Sivec Glued Copy Share Image
“Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with F**k Her Hard and be done with it?” — Tara Sivec Condom Copy Share Image
“I don’t even get the term, “the birds and the bees”. How does that properly teach a kid about sex? You never… — Tara Sivec Bumble bee Copy Share Image
“Ava is like a praying mantis on crack. She will not only chew off his head after she has sex with him,… — Tara Sivec Praying mantis Copy Share Image
“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun… — Tara Sivec Bad boy Copy Share Image
“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her… — Tara Sivec Blow job Copy Share Image
“Liz asked me the other day what I thought about twice baked potatoes. How the fuck should I know? Was I supposed… — Tara Sivec Asked Copy Share Image
“You don’t have to try and pick up all the pieces at once, sometimes you only need to use a few of… — Tara Sivec Time Copy Share Image
“Really? Because I recall you asking the Elvis impersonator at your Vegas wedding if he could add a line to Jenny’s… — Tara Sivec Blow job Copy Share Image
“I should just open the car door and throw her out of the moving vehicle for what she did to me tonight,… — Tara Sivec Open Car Copy Share Image
“Are you really going back there with me?" I ask. "Hell yes I am. Your wish is finally coming true. I will… — Tara Sivec Conversation Copy Share Image
“All my shrinks have told me I need to find a hobby. Something to focus on other than the torture and the… — Tara Sivec Every moment Copy Share Image
“I have a dream. And in this dream I’m under the covers in bed, just a few scant inches away from Carter’s… — Tara Sivec Alarm clock Copy Share Image
“I lay there wrapped in Carter’s arms and it was the most comfortable I had ever been. For about five minutes. This… — Tara Sivec First time Copy Share Image
“Oh shit, I wouldn’t use that towel if I were you,” Gavin mumbles. I ignore him scrubbing every inch of my face,… — Tara Sivec Hot water Copy Share Image
“Yeah, you like that? You like it when Big Papa gives you his hot and juicy wiener?” I pant, my hips hammering… — Tara Sivec Dirty talk Copy Share Image
“Tyler pulls his shirt down over his head and I pretend like I’m not sad to see his naked abs go. “I… — Tara Sivec Gaze Copy Share Image
“I roofied you because I wanted you naked … and afraid, " Tyler says again in a sinister voice” — Tara Sivec Funny Copy Share Image
“I'm going to put corn and hot sauce on your wiener, and then I'll hit you in the face with it. Hit… — Tara Sivec Hot sauce Copy Share Image
“I love you more than a hooker loves free VD testing day at the clinic," she told me drunkenly.” — Tara Sivec Hooker Loves Copy Share Image
“a shirt that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic, have you seen my shotgun?” — Tara Sivec Children Copy Share Image
“It's going down, and it's going down right the fuck now. I don’t care if there is a room full of witnesses” — Tara Sivec Fuck Copy Share Image
“I’m not going to stand by and watch the woman I’ve always loved slip away again.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“It’s totally fine,” I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. “She’s totally housebroken. She’ll go to… — Tara Sivec Housebroken Copy Share Image
“I'm a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick! Me, me, me, pick me! And who the hell keeps whining and ruining… — Tara Sivec Dark hair Copy Share Image
“He picks up one of the tests and pretends like he's Harry Potter, aiming the test at random objects around the small… — Tara Sivec Magic wand Copy Share Image
“Dude, he put ass cream on his face. You do know I’m going to have to start calling your son Ass Face… — Tara Sivec Gaze Copy Share Image
