Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I've just come to my room, Livy darling, I guess this was the memorable night of my life. By George, I never… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand -- but He reserves vengeance for His very own. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“A public library is the most enduring of memorials, the trustiest monument for the preservation of an event or a name or… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter; the writer gets his limitless freedom of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich that the poor are… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What do you call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, magnanimity, forgiveness? Different results of the one master impulse: the necessity of securing… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The banging and slamming and booming and crashing were something beyond belief. [On Lohengrin] — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To go abroad has something of the same sense that death brings. I am no longer of ye-what ye say of me… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“True love is the only heart disease that is best left to "run on"--the only affection of the heart for which there… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
